This post is not pre-planned or pre-thought of. I just want to get real and write from my heart. I want to use my blog for more than product reviews (that's fun) but I want more.
I do not know if your one of those moms. One of those who struggle like I do with perfection. In my mind, my perspective , I catch myself wanting this or that or me to be prefect. Why? Is it because those around us want us to be prefect or is it me doing it or both? Why do they want us to be prefect? Why do I want to be prefect? Why do I care what others think when I should be more focused with what Jesus thinks of me. Is it because they know they are not and need us to be, so strong, so prefect? Do they have lots of lots of impossible expectations of us or do you simply have to many of yourself? What ever the case, I have been pondering lately that most of my life I lived to please someone else or even lived in a selfish manner to please me for that moment only to regret it later then feel the wait of my guilt. Why because I expect to be prefect yet I wasn't and would carry that idea I failed to much. I am realizing more and more I am not prefect. But why did God give me a perfectionist heart? I am realizing why. He gave me that kind of perspective to use as tool but not for it to over take & consume me. A tool to add missed detail when needed. A tool to make & create when I make things. A tool to serve with my whole heart, when I serve Him. A tool to make me better when I mess up but not to tare me down with guilt when I do. Its the fuel of striving in this life for the next day to be better.
I will not let it be my enemy as I have viewed it and hated it but now keep it in balance and know its just a small part of who God made me to be and use it to not consume me but to live for Him! I will also only use it for Him in my life on this earth and not for others. Because no one is perfect but Jesus and we are to look to him to fill in the gabs of our life that we can not fill. My standards for me I made to high because others had them to high for me also I think and I was just trying to keep up, it got out of hand. Now I will just be Susan. The less than perfect Susan, who is a tool of God for he is the perfect one & the prefect creator. Just look at his design all around! He never makes mistakes. I will embrace the fact I am not prefect and allow his perfection to fill me where I lack to make me truly better off than when I used to strive for prefect perfection on my own.
I will not fear judgement when I do fall short in front of people. Because if the keep expecting me to be prefect then they are not looking at the right one for perfection. They should only expect that from Jesus mighty Yeshua!
Leave me a comment and tell me whats on your heart about this topic!